Need To Be Right Exercise

1)     If I am able to convince another person of my point of view on something, I am more likely to:

a)     Feel glad I got my point across, or

b)     Acknowledge the other person’s willingness to consider new points of view.

2)     When another person does not seem to be able to understand what I am telling them, I will more likely:

a)     Rephrase what I am saying, or

b)     Ask the person what portion of what I have said is unclear to them.

3)     When another person tells me that one of my habits has annoyed them for a long time, I am more likely to:

a)     Be irritated that they did not tell me sooner, or

b)     Be grateful that they became comfortable bringing it up.

4)     If I am excited about doing something with another person, only to find out they have little interest in it, I am more likely to:

a)     Ask them why they are not interested, or

b)     Inquire about activities they find exciting.

5)     If another person and I have opposing views on how to do something, I am more likely to want to:

a)     Focus the discussion on the merits of our positions, or

b)     Learn more about how the other person came to their point of view.

6)     If another person gives me negative feedback about something I did, and I disagree with their point of view, I am more likely to:

a)     Explain why I took the actions I did, or

b)     Check to see if I am understanding their feedback as intended.

7)     If I am late for a meeting with a close friend, I am more likely to:

a)     Tell them the reasons I am late, or

b)     Tell them how I feel about being late.

8)     If a friend borrows my car and upon returning the keys to me, my friend [who shows no evidence of being injured] tells me they were involved in an accident while driving the car, my first reaction to them is more likely to be:

a)     Ask how the accident happened, or

b)     Ask whether or not they have injuries I cannot see.

9)     If I see a person running toward me bump into and knock down another person, I am more likely to:

a)     Say to the person running toward me, “Hey, you just knocked a person down back there.”, or

b)     Go to the person on the ground and offer assistance.

10)  If I accidentally slam a car door on another person’s fingers, I am more likely to say:

a)     “Oh, I am so sorry; I didn’t mean to do that.”, or

b)     “Oh, I am so sorry; are you okay?”

Add up the number of a)’s and b)’s on your survey form.



Your need to be right vs. being in relationship

9 or 10

1 or 0

You have a very strong need to be right.

7 or 8

3 or 2

You have a strong need to be right.

4, 5 or 6

6, 5 or 4

You have a moderate need to be right.

2 or 3

8 or 7

You have a small need to be right.

0 or 1

10 or 9

You are very relationship oriented.

The above evaluation is based on how you see yourself.  If you want to give yourself a more rigorous test, ask a friend [who you can trust to give you the unvarnished truth] to answer the survey questions as they relate to you.  This second set of results is likely to not only be a more accurate indicator of your need to be right; these will also allow you to calibrate your perception of yourself.

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